l'll state the obvious - motherhood is life changing. So much so, that it is easy (like really easy) to let it consume you. All of you. It can be a really great thing. Can I be real though? I'm hoping this is a safe place to say... it can be a really heavy thing.
My husband and I had our first son in 2016 and our second son in 2019. We love these boys! We are so blessed to have nieces and nephews because that's how we get our "girl fix". After having these two brothers, it is impossible to imagine having anymore kids... and what on earth would we do with a girl?! This home of ours is so happy, the boys are blessed and we are supported by a village that not many young families have. It can be a really great thing.
After our first child, I had those baby blues that not enough people talk about. Wow... it's isolating, but temporary! I was able to snap out of it after a couple of months, and honestly, getting back to work after maternity leave helped! I have an identity outside of motherhood. I am a technology professional and at this point I was doing really well in my career.
After our second child, baby blues transformed into full blown postpartum depression. It can be a really heavy thing. Now I, a previously known as independent woman, was a wife with two kids that had the darkest of the dark thoughts about where I was in life. I completely lost myself. The only thing that really helped me was work! I felt so guilty about that. Society told me I need to focus on my family and that's where I should get all my satisfaction. It just wasn't. But I poured myself into the family thinking that's what would snap me back into myself. It was all about them. Outside of my 9-5 job, I did nothing with or for myself. Always for the kids. Always for my marriage.
I finally made the "me" decision near the end of 2019 and got a therapist. After being in denial and feeling shame for taking this step, I was shocked at how much just the decision to go to therapy helped me. I was finally thinking about me! I realized that once I thought about me, I didn't have to force myself to "make it work" at home. When I'm my best self, everything falls into place. Fast forward to now, and I've officially launched a business with my best friend called Professional Young Things (IG: @professionalyoungthings), aimed to help young professionals optimize their time in & out of the office! I now have the confidence to be more than mommy. It can be a really great thing.
